its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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