You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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