I skipped work to stalk him.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
