How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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