3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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