I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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