If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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