grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
