when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
