I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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