he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize