She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
