I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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