She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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