im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
