On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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