I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
