That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
