C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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