I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
