This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
