Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
