quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
