She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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