He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
