i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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