People in love make me want to vomit
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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