I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
