Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
