I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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