you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
