You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
