why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
