is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
