Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I look better un-naked...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
