But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She bit a glass in half.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
