The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
