i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
