Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
