Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
