i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
