I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im six kinds of drunk right now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
