just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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