ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
