dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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