Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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