I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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