I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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