ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
