Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
