I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
