I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
