Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
