Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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