At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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