nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
