Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
