i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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