i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
