Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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