the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
