Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
