i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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